Loss

On May 16, I lost my dad. His death came unexpectedly. He started to feel ill on Thursday, and by the following Wednesday he was gone.

While Dad's death is achingly real, there are parts of me that still do not quite believe it. His presence was so strong and so much a part of my life, it doesn't seem possible that I won't feel it again. I don't want it to be true, but I know that it is. I wish I had him back.

At this point, it seems like my only options are to go around crying all the time, or to reside in a somewhat numb place. My nose prefers the numb place. But I find that, as hard as it is, I have to come out and face the loss, the anguish.

God I miss him.

John Lennon's "Imagine"

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

There are people who believe that a belief in an afterlife leads to an abandonment of our responsibility to others in the present. While I don't see this as a given, I have actually seen that dynamic at work in certain Christian groups. Their view of the Kingdom of God is completely in the future. They see the world as completely fallen, and consider it pointless to do anything to try and better things. For them, no real good can be done until Jesus comes again, so they wind up living for themselves. They miss that the Gospels make it clear that we are to live as if God's Kingdom has come. Our hope must be lived out in the present.

It is also easy to blame religion for conflicts. And unfortunately, Christians have participated in this. Worse, it isn't just in our past; the human tendency to try and solve things through violence is still with us. But it isn't unique to religions. Every ideology can fall prey to it. In fact, I would argue that it is when a religion moves from spirituality to ideology that it succumbs to violent conflicts. When I am seeking God, I will tend to act with compassion. It is only when I stop seeking God because I believe I have the answer that I begin to judge others and try and impose my beliefs on them.

So while I disagree with Lennon, I view the lyrics as a helpful warning. They portray the result of religiosity supplanting faith, law supplanting compassion, and escapism supplanting hope. Instead, I pray that God's Kingdom "come on earth as it is in heaven," and I pray that my actions help make it so.

Visible Faith

As I sat in McDonald’s eating lunch, I noticed a Muslim woman sitting across from me. I had no idea where she was from, but I knew what faith she followed. I realized that this would not work in reverse. While she could make a guess, she couldn’t actually know what faith I followed by looking at me. Knowing would have taken conversation—she would have to ask me.

Should this bother me? Should my faith be clearly visible to the casual observer? The question sat there staring at me. I had to ignore it for a bit while I attended a meeting, but after that I had a chance to return its gaze. In what way should the public expression of my face be visible?

For some Christians this is done through dress or through accessories. They believe there should be a discernable difference between them and the unsaved people around them. Some wear clothing from a bygone era, some wear crosses, some wear t-shirts with Christian jargon, and some carry Bibles. Something visible to proclaim their allegiance—visible piety. But this isn’t how Jesus called us to express our faith.

Time and time again Jesus instructs us in a private piety: pray in solitude, keep your fasting private, give without bringing attention to yourself. True piety isn’t found in ostentatious displays of public worship, it isn’t found in religious trappings, and it isn’t found in garb or accessories. Rather, we find true piety in a radical compassion for others. The Christian walking down the street, sitting on the bus, or eating lunch at McDonald’s will look like everyone else. Christianity cannot be seen at a distance. We have to engage the world. Only when we enter into other’s lives and let them into our lives will Jesus be seen.

In what way should the public expression of my faith be visible? When I love my neighbor as myself.