Loss

On May 16, I lost my dad. His death came unexpectedly. He started to feel ill on Thursday, and by the following Wednesday he was gone.

While Dad's death is achingly real, there are parts of me that still do not quite believe it. His presence was so strong and so much a part of my life, it doesn't seem possible that I won't feel it again. I don't want it to be true, but I know that it is. I wish I had him back.

At this point, it seems like my only options are to go around crying all the time, or to reside in a somewhat numb place. My nose prefers the numb place. But I find that, as hard as it is, I have to come out and face the loss, the anguish.

God I miss him.